Friday, December 4, 2009

Searching coffee

I wrapped my fingers tightly around the coffee cup to experience the warmth it emitted. Between sips I watched the steam exit. Suddenly, as one becomes aware that someone has been staring, I saw my reflection in the hot liquid. I peered in to see what else I could discover about my world. I noticed a portion of the ceiling above my head. Its bright white color looked darker and its irregular surface became softened in the coffee. I suddenly had the feeling of waking from one of those vivid dreams during a day time nap in which I rise and ask, where am I?

As if to answer myself, I looked into the cup. I became a medium searching the smooth surface of a crystal ball. Who am I? Where have I been? Why am I in Adana, Turkey? And where am I going?

I read once, perhaps in a physics text in university, that frogs placed in a pot of water on a stove will not know they are boiling if the temperature is increased gradually enough. They never try to leap out, and instead stay in the pot unaware of the change until they transpire. If time were my temperature and Turkey my pot, how long before I start to boil? And would I notice?

In recent months I have been making an active effort to live in the present, addressing only the demands of the day and appreciating the richness of the moment. This mentality sheds a brilliant light on what is positive in each day. But time escapes easily and I wonder, could several years go by without my knowledge?

I am fearful of living a life rich in experience but lacking in progression… trying new cities and lives without finding the one that was intended for me since birth. If opportunities were a banquet table of tantalizing foods, I am standing with a watering mouth and admiring the variety. But my excitement makes me forget that at any moment this food is destined to vanish, leaving me to mourn for time lost on deliberation.

I am happier than I could have imagined, but feel I am being neglectful of a higher purpose. Thus, is action needed? Or am I to patiently wait for the right things to happen at the right time,..for 'the signs' to become clear?

In Turkey, fortunes are often read in the coffee that remains in the cup. It is done amongst friends as well as in cafes by wandering tellers. Do coffee grounds have the answers? With seemingly no other choice, I peer even more deeply into the cup with attentive eyes and ears.

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